sat（scholastic assessment test)是美国高中生进入美国大学需要参加的考试，也就是美国的“高考”。近年来，越来越多的准备去美国读本科的中国高中生开始参加sat的考试。sat写作是整个sat考试的第一部分，要求在25分钟内写完。很多高中生反映写不好sat作文，得分很低。在接下来的几天里，我会将我评改的一些sat习作放到这里，供同学们学习和借鉴，希望对准备参加sat考试的同学有一些帮助。
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topic: teaching something to another person can help you
to learn or master a subject or process?
think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and assignment below.
“if you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others. one who ceases to learn cannot adequately teach.”- tryon edwards, dictionary of thoughts
assignment: do you think that teaching something to another person can help you to learn or master a subject or process? plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experiences, or observations.
习作修改
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学生习作（第一段） |
语言修改 |
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tryon edwards took a firm stand, saying that “if you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others. one who ceases to learn cannot adequately teach.” it means that teaching something to another people can help people learn a subject well. to me, i definitely believe it is true[1]--- teaching can make the teacher master a process better---BECause i have experienced and read such things in my daily life. |
tryon edwards took a firm stand, saying that “if you would thoroughly know anything, teach it to others. one who ceases to learn cannot adequately teach.” this means that teaching something to another person can help you to learn a subject well. to me, i definitely believe it is true---teaching can make the teacher master a process better--- because i have experienced and read such things in my daily life. |
本段评点
这一段话虽然立刻表明了作者自己的立场，但是内容不饱满，大多叙述是重复和多余的。比如，it means 这一句完全是多余的。tryon edwards说的话本来很明白，浅显，不用再解释一遍。或者，可以说自己的那句解释，但是不用引用tryon edwards的那句话。
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学生习作（第二段） |
语言修改F3N*U
4S22o7-fuq[ 此文转贴于我的学习网外语园地LSAT http://www.Gzu521.com]F3N*U
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at the age of fifteen, i was a student of senior one[2]. because i always got high scores in mathematics, physics and english, my class teacher arranged a student who did not get high scores in mathematics, physics and english and she wanted me to help the student improve her grades. after class, she often asked me some questions. i explained them patiently to her. however, when i taught her the lessons, i surprisingly found that i, myself, also had some obscure ideas of some points. in order to make both my deskmate and me clearly, i reviewed my book, went to the teachers’ Office to ask my teacher and put the question to my classmates.[3] thus, i comprehensively mastered the knowledge and managed to tell it to my deskmate. during my teaching days, not only my deskmate but also i increased the test scores. |
at the age of fifteen, i was a senior middle school student. because i always scored [4]high in mathematics, physics and english, my teacher arranged for me to help a student who did not score so high in these classes. after class, she often asked me some questions. i explained them patiently to her. however, when i taught her the lessons i was surprised to find out that some ideas were obscure to me as well.[5] in order to clearly understand the points in question for myself and my classmate, i reviewed the text and consulted my teacher. thus, i was able to master the knowledge and teach it to my classmate. while tutoring[6], both my classmate and i were able to increase our test scores. |
本段评点
这一段举了自己帮助后进同学的例子，叙述比较清楚。不过句式比较单调，例如以i做主语的句子比较多。另外，有些意思的表述不够准确、地道。
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